


Back To Black

by sunfirestrike



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, so... yeah, this was the first good fic I wrote
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 10:15:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6280537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunfirestrike/pseuds/sunfirestrike
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place in between season 5 & 6. The Reader is trying to get over her one-sided love, but will all she has become crumble away when she sees him again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Back To Black

**Author's Note:**

> you can also find this fic on my tumblr @an-asexual-trying-2-write!

It was an early autumn evening, a cool crisp wind blew through the trees, making the orange, and brown leaves rustle, underneath the cloudy sky, with a few stars poking out here and there. You stood there, watching him pass a bowl of mashed potatoes around the table. He looked, happy, the happiest you had ever seen him, and it broke your already shattered heart that you weren’t the one making his green eyes shine like that. But that didn’t matter now, what mattered is that he was safe, or, well he would be when you took care of the vamps that were on his tail out for revenge. You wanted to move, you really did, but you were frozen to the spot trying to soak up as much of his smile, his eyes, his face, as much of him, as possible, but then something happened that you never wanted to see. You saw Lisa, you think her name is, lean over and peck Dean’s lips, causing an ear-splitting grin to form on his lips. And in that moment you wanted to cry, to scream, to punch, and kick, but instead, you took a deep, shaky breath, and walked away defeated.

You drove to the old abandoned house the vamps were squatting in grabbed your machete and slid into your element the shadows. Monsters everywhere feared you, the ones who had escaped you (not many) have claimed they never saw you coming. You enter the crumbling house cautiously, and take a few steps forward into the living room. You hear a creak, swiftly turn around and chop off the unsuspecting vamp’s head off. You hear the sound of a dresser scraping the floor down the left hallway. You follow the noise to find to vamps making out up against a wall. With no need for stealth the way they were going at it you pull the male off the female choking her so she couldn’t call for help. You quickly slice off the male’s head and repeat with the female. You spot the fourth vamp inspecting the body of the first, and despite your better judgement run up to the vamp and hack his head off. There the job is done now you can go back to your plan of never seeing Dean Winchester again.

As the months wore on you became numb to the world around you. Bobby called every once in a while to check up on you, and you would put on a brave face a try to sound happy for whose sake you weren’t sure. One day after a particularly rough hunt you were resting at Bobby’s for a few days. You were talking with about a few of your hunts that past year, when there was a knock at the door. Bobby went to answer the wound a you side, preventing you from moving too much, when you heard his voice, the voice that you had longed to hear for months, the voice that had haunted you every, living moment, shout angrily

“You knew he was back?!” you manage to stand up grunting through the pain you hobble over to the door frame, and peek around the corner, and there stood  
the two people you had hoped and at the same time never wished to see again

“S-Sam?” Your shaky voice caught the attention of the three men by the door.

“(Y/N)! What are you doing up? You should be resting!” Bobby told you gruffly.

“Uh… I got curious?” You stated through it sounded more like a question.

“Did you know he was back?” Dean asks you roughly.

“No, as a matter of fact, I found out just now speaking of which where the hell is my hug Sammy?” Sam smiled and hugged you, but something was off.

“So, uh, (Y/N/N) what have you been up to?” Sam questions clearly trying to steer the subject away from his escape from the cage.

“Well, I’ve been hunting.” you admit sheepishly.

“Alone?” Dean inquires, and for the first time in a year your eyes meet his, and you can feel the numbness being replaced by warmth at the concern in his emerald green eyes. Ohh boy were you in deep.


	2. Hello My Old Heart

You were sitting on the hood of the Impala staring off into space. When you heard the flutter of wings and a slight breeze from behind you.

“Hello, (Y/N).” Castiel says from behind you. Without turning around you mumble a reply.

“Hi, Cas” Cas comes and sits down next to you, and joins your staring at the stars.

“How have you been?” He questions, it’s a little more than surprising to you, I mean there is a war in heaven going on, and he’s asking you if you’re okay

“Fine.” You mumble.

“(Y/N),” He presses “I can tell something is wrong, your soul is practically screaming about”

“Oh.” was all you managed to say over the lump in your throat.

“(Y/N) there may be a war going on in heaven, but I am not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong, I understand talking about it helps some humans.” It was then you understood why he was your best friend since you all found out about Sam being soulless. And that was all it took for you to spill your guts and mushy crap all over him.

“Well, Cas, see, uh, it’s my, uh, my heart I’m uh.. Worried about it” He tilts his head to the side in confusion.

“Go on,” He tells you.

“Well, you see I’ve built these walls around it, and that’s fine, and all, the only problem is I can’t really feel it beating anymore.”

“Well, have you considered breaking down these "walls”?“ He asks.

"Yeah, I have, but those walls are keeping me safe, keeping me from getting hurt, and I’m wondering if not feeling my heart beat is better than destroying those walls.” You look over at Cas to see that he is staring at you with a look like he is deep in thought

“I think you should let your caged heart be free. Let it find its home with someone else, because what’s the point in having a heart if you don’t let it feel?”

“You know Cas, for a supposedly emotionless angel, you give pretty good advice.” You manage to crack a smile at him, something that is rare for you these days. He smiles down at you, warmth in his sapphire eyes. “Thanks, Cas I feel a lot better now.” You reach over and pull him into a hug he tenses a little at the gesture, but soon puts his arms around you in a tight embrace. You both pull away from the hug after a few moments.

“I am glad you are feeling better (Y/N), now I should be getting back to heaven.” With that thought in mind he disappears in a flurry of feathers. You shiver a little, at the cool night air, and hear the motel door open and close, and look back to see Sam coming with the keys to the Impala in his hands.

“Hey, (Y/N) I’m going on a late night supply run, wanna join?” He inquires.

“Nah, I think I’m going to have a talk with Dean.” you state, he shrugs at you, and you hop off the hood walking towards the door, before you open it you hear the roar of the Impala driving off into the night. You open the door to find Dean sitting in the dark hunched over on the edge of his bed. He doesn’t even look up as you shut the door

“Hey,” you say softly, sitting beside him on the bed rubbing your hand up and down his back. “How you holdin’ up?” you ask.

“Fine”

“Dean” You say sternly.

“Alright, alright, never could get anything by you.” He takes a deep breath, and it comes out as a large sigh “I’ve been better” He admits “What’s got you in such a talking feel-ly mood anyway?” He wonders aloud.

“I had a great talk with Cas.” You state, for a second you could’ve sworn you saw a flick of jealously in his forest green red rimmed eyes but it must have been your imagination. Right?

“Oh, Really?”

“Yeah, he made me realize something.”

“What?”

“That I should set my heart free.”

“Oh, that’s what’s different about you.”

“What do you mean?” You ask.

“You just, seem happier, that’s all”

“Well, you don’t, come here” You pull him into your arms and lean your head on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around your waist, and buries his face into the crook of your neck, you him sniff a little, and start rubbing soothing circles on his back “Shh… It’s all gonna be okay, I can’t promise you when it will be, but I can promise you it will be all okay.” you whisper in his ear. You place a kiss onto his temple and push him down onto his bed “Get some rest Dean, you’ll feel better in the morning.” Well I guess this is hello, my old heart. You think before walking off to your own motel room.


	3. Cheerleader

He was sitting there on the couch in Bobby’s living room watching you patch up Sam’s sliced hand. He hadn’t even realized he was staring until you came over to him to help him patch up his wounds.

“Hey, Dean snap out of it!” You said, waving your hand in front of his face. He jolted back as if someone had smacked him.

“Sorry, lost in thought, I guess” He apologized. You looked down at his arm to see a pretty big gash on his shoulder.

“Dean, why didn’t you tell me about the gash earlier!” You scolded

“What gash?” He looked over to his shoulder to see blood dripping from the wound “Huh, I didn’t even notice, must be the adrenaline.” He stated. As you started attending to his injury, Dean got lost in his memories. He remembered your first hunt, and how you were beaten up and bloody, but smiling nonetheless. He remembered how he had patched you up after that, and you were asking when the next hunt was. He remembered how supportive you were of Sam when he wanted to go to college. And how supportive you were of him after Jess’s death. He remembered you comforting him when Sam got stabbed in the back. He remembered the devastated look on your face when you learned he sold his soul for Sam’s. He remembered you comforting him after he had night terrors about hell. He remembered you helping to trying and figure things out in the apocalypse, always trying to keep everything from falling apart. And then he remembered going back to Lisa and the empty feeling in his chest for the first few weeks when he hadn’t seen you in awhile. He remembered the nervous smile you gave him the first time you had seen him after a whole year, and he remembered the feeling of his heart swelling to ten times its size when you did. He remembered you always being there for him.

“Hey, (Y/N).” He talked softly.

“Hmm?” You hummed and looked up at him with wide eyes. And all of a sudden his lips were on yours, it was everything you could have asked for sweet, and gentle, yet full of longing and passion. When you eventually broke away for air you rested your forehead on the others.

“You have no idea how long I have wanted you to do that for.” You spoke breathlessly barely above a whisper.

“Well, then why don’t we do it again?” Your lips crash upon the others, the kiss more heated this time when you were interrupted by a slightly disgusted Bobby

“‘Bout damn time, now would you two idjits go eat each others faces somewhere other than my couch”


End file.
